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Okay, um... I've been working on a Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfiction about Kaiba. Basically, Kaiba has amnesia and the story's about his adventures while trying to figure out who he is. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2304826/1/ I started it in early February, 2005, and it's almost done. When I first put it up on fanfiction.net, I would get a average of 10 reviews a chapter, but then the review count dropped to about half that, and now I'm getting something like two reviews a chapter. I guess it hasn't helped that I've been begging for reviews, but I wish I knew what's wrong with the story. Even when I was getting more reviews, though, most of them weren't very helpful.
So... If anyone would like to read it, I'd really like to know what foreshadowing and things people can pick up on. I'd kind'a like some constructive criticism on everything, but I'd especially like to know what people actually think about while reading it. Like "when reading this line, I wondered if..." or something like that. I think I have a little bit of a problem with plot and with having everyone in character, at least at the beginning, and I've heard that I should be more descriptive. Besides knowing what's wrong, suggestions would be helpful... Like possibly a way to make Duel Monsters more exciting... There's also some things I think I might've worded kind'a awkward, but I don't know how to fix it, and I'd like to know if that can be picked up (like, anything a person needs to read twice = not well enough written).
The fanfic's supposed to be canon. If it isn't, then I'd like to know how to fix it. Well, there is one thing... There's a dubbed version, Japanese version, and manga version. My fanfic mixes those versions. So, Pegasus isn't dead, so that's like the anime, but there's manga stuff, too. Sometimes I use actual quotes for flashbacks and sometimes I don't, depending on different things.
I'd like a lot of criticism to a certain point... If everything's negative, and there isn't any positive stuff or ways I can improve, then I'd end up just getting depressed. But, besides criticism, I'd like to know Anything a person thinks while reading the story... When I write it I think "now, people will feel this way when reading this line, and they'll wonder what this quote means, but I won't answer that question until such and such chapter... Oh, here, I just know people will be asking me about what this means!" and then no one comments on those things. So I don't know if they even notice them...
So... I hope I didn't rant too much and I hope some people can help me out.
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So, since I'm new in here, I thought I would do a little intro post. Plus, it'll increase the post count here in the community. That's always a nice thing, right? *nervous laugh*

Sadly, I tend to be bad at introductions, so this is likely to be pretty lame. But, here goes.

Tex-chan is my only screen name. So, I write under it, as well. I write mainly for Weiss Kruez; for some reason the pissy assassin boys seem to give me the most inspiration. I'm not even going to try and guess what that means about my personality. I also have one (unpublished, because it is very bad) Inu Yasha story, which I wrote a few years ago -- my first writing project after a seven-year "dry" spell. In addition, I have one published (if ff.net and my own website count) Sorcerous Stabber Orphen story, one unpublished SSO story, one unpublished Rurouni Kenshin story, and some small fanfic challenges posts for VHD, Utena, and Howl's Moving Castle. I'm currently working on a first draft for a Saiyuki story (but don't tell the assassin boys! O.O). Although most of my writing fun happens in the WK-verse, I do occasionally branch out into other shows.

My writing is posted both on ff.net and on my own website (although my site is a bit behind -- I need to do a large fic update there >.O). If you're at all interested in my writing, you can find it there. I also have a writing journal, where I post in-progress, rough draft stuff -- mainly to keep track of it as I'm working through the story. I write a lot ... er, well, it seems like a lot to me, considering the very small amount of free time I have per day. But, compared to most of you guys, I suspect my actual writing time is quite paltry. Still, I doubt I'll post any of my in-progress stuff here, since the fandom I enjoy is rather old and holds little interest for most folks I know. I hate to subject people to things that will bore them. *sweatdrop* But, I'm always more than happy to read things from pretty much any fandom, and, accordingly, also happy to offer advice and help, where I can.

I don't watch as much anime as I used to, but I enjoy it a lot, and have a fairly large DVD collection -- most all of which I have viewed multiple times. So, I feel comfortable offering characterization advice on many different shows. Basically, if I don't feel adequate at offering a review that speaks to characterization, I will be up front and say so. Even when I am unable to help with characterization, I'm happy to review with regard to grammar, spelling, punctuation, and general story flow and tone.

In essence, I'm pretty flexible, and I think I'm a reasonably kind person. I don't think I've ever flamed anyone's writing, as I believe more in the adage of not saying anything if I have nothing nice to say. And, I'm happy to review in whatever manner a writer desires.

Hmmm ... I guess that's it for my intro. See? I told you it would be lame! *nervous laugh*
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Okay, let's give this community a trial run. Here's a link to a story I've started working on.

The Shadows' Four Corners
(Posted in my other LJ, btw -- it's still me!)

Fandom -- Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

Please critique all aspects, grammar, spelling, characterization, tone -- everything. I'm a bit concerned about the chunk of exposition at the start, since I normally handle exposition within the story, usually in dialogue. Is what I have too much like boring info-dumping? Or is it okay? Any suggestions?

Since the Yu-Gi-Oh canon didn't give us much information on how the Shadow Realm works, this story should be in fairly good agreement with canon.

I'd rather not walk away from a critique wounded and bleeding, but I think my tolerance for honest and helpful criticisms is pretty high. Let's give it a try!

Since this concrit request is something of a trial run for the community, please leave any critiques in the thread here.

In-depth con-crit is always treasured, but even a one line comment pointing out a mispelled word is valuable, too. ^_^

Thanks, in advance, for any critiques!
Current Mood:
hopeful hopeful
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I've been thinking about how to organize things for this community. Hopefully, we will have some people who are willing to review, as well as people who wish to submit their writing for evaluation.


For myself as a reviewer -- I'm willing to offer general constructive criticism about pretty much any writing (except for explicit and graphic hentai including yaoi and yuri) for such elements as spelling, grammar, writing mechanics and formatting. I am capable of offering constructive criticism for characterization in a few fandoms, as well.


I think what would make the most sense is to have a format for offering a submission to be critiqued.


Things it would be helpful to know --


1) Fandom

2) What the writer wants critiqued ('please just review it for spelling/grammar/tense agreement/etc errors', 'please give me honest constructive criticism about the whole thing, including canon agreement and characterization' etc.)

3) Intended canon agreement (Is it supposed to be canon? After canon - reasonable extrapolation? Crackfic? Basically, how close to canon is the writer intending the piece to be.)

4) Exceptions ('I know So-and-So is a Mary-Sue', 'I know So-and-So is out of character' so please don't point out that aspect)

5) The writer's tolerance ('please be gentle as I'm still a new writer' up to 'go ahead and rip it to shreds -- if that's what it needs')

6) Con-crit delivery method ('Please email my con-crit to me', 'Please post your con-crit here for me to pick it up', 'Please post your con-crit here for discussion' (when there are more than one reviewers)


So, someone submitting a story would post something along the lines of --


Hi! I have a story in (fandom) that I'd like to have critiqued. [LINK, or an offer to email the story to the reviewer who accepts the con-crit task] This is intended to be a broadly humorous look at what would happen if the characters were dumped into the driving test routine in my state, so they're going to be a bit out of character. Oh, and (name) is me, so it's a Mary-Sue. I have problems keeping my verb tense consistent, and sometimes spelling errors creep in, so would someone please tackle a con-crit for me searching for these things? Thanks!


Please suggest anything that should be added to help make this community more useful (and fun). Oh, and if you are offering your services as a reviewer, please write an introduction post, too. ^_^
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